It’s time to #breakthebinge

(guest post from Julie Stubblefield)

Dieting.  We’ve all done it.  We’ve all hated it.  Yet, we keep going back for more.  Despite feeling unworthy, unsuccessful, and unvalidated in the process, dieting is the most-accepted form of self-abuse.

There.  I said it.  Dieting is self-abuse.  What’s scarier is that it is not only accepted, but expected.  Care to take a walk on the dark side with me?

Let me tell you a story of a girl and her friend.  

They spend a lot of time together.  But this girl’s friend is a bit overbearing.  Just when the girl feels like she is being successful, the friend shoots her down.  Just when the girl feels like she is making positive changes in her life, her friend abruptly tells her she can’t.  And when the girl is feeling particularly vulnerable, the friend reminds her of all her failures, pouring salt into the wound.  Even though the friend is more critical than supportive, the girl stays close, keeping her in her daily life.

Upon first glance, we would see this as a pretty dysfunctional relationship.  Why would this girl continue to let this friend in her life?  Who would want to be treated that way?  Who could tolerate it on a daily basis?

The girl is me.  The girl is you.  The friend?  It’s the diet.

Put the word “diet” in place of “friend” in the story above.  Ouch.

We choose to keep ourselves in a nasty relationship with dieting.  We allow ourselves to feel like utter shit when we don’t achieve a goal.  We know what will happen at the end of every diet…self-loathing, disappointment, and frustration.  We blame ourselves.  We think we can’t succeed.  We feel like we are undeserving of changing our bodies.  We are drawn to diets, because we think they are to answer to happiness, the solution to smaller waists, the key to gratification.  Even when we know how we feel when we are on them, what happens when we end them, we keep going back for more.

We are abusing ourselves with dieting.  

If you knew a friend was married to a guy who only let her eat certain foods, required her to workout a certain number of hours per week, and made her feel awful when she couldn’t follow the rules, you would tell her to leave his ass!

If you knew a friend was dating someone who belittled her, made her feel like a failure, and made her cry on a regular basis, you would tell her it’s not a good relationship.

Can you see the similarities here?  These flaws, these restrictions, these rules of dieting put us in a cycle of emotional and physical damage.  Women face this daily.  And we expect this to be how we change our bodies.

Statistics:

What’s fascinating is that 68% of people regain what is lost on a diet within 3 years.  Even more startling is that only about 5% of those who achieve results in a crash diet will maintain the change. {sourced from livestrong.com}

Do you fit into either of those statistics?

Re-read this:  68% regain within 3 years.  There is no specific diet being isolated as being the troublesome one (though I could list a dozen).  Dieting as a generalized term is the problem.

The Cycle:

  • Feel guilty about health and/or physique
  • Go on a diet to change it
  • Follow the rules as long as possible
  • Eat a food not on the list because the diet is unrealistic
  • Feel guilty about the food
  • Possibly eat more
  • Feel more guilt and possibly shame
  • Repeat the cycle (sometimes this happens daily, weekly, monthly)

We stand up in outrage when we see women struggling with external relationships we can see, we stand up to be able to breastfeed in public, we stand up to help moms deal with depression.

Why the hell can’t we see what we are doing to ourselves?  Why are we continuing this cycle?

Because we think there is no other way.

Breaking the Cycle:

  • Stop counting.   Fill your body with great food.  When you put protein, veggies, fruits, and fats in your body, the calories will take care of themselves…every time.
  • Make your own rules.  Screw the status quo.  Eat more of what makes you feel good, less of what doesn’t.  Does eating early in morning make you feel worse?  Then don’t.
  • Slow down.  We want fast results, like yesterday.  Making your own rules takes time.  And if you want to break the cycle, you have to be willing to take the time to listen to YOUR body.
  • Lighten up.  We make dieting so serious!  And when we struggle, it gets even more so.  Find humor in mistakes.  Find a way to laugh.  Find a way to enjoy the process.
  • Give yourself compassion.  This is probably the most difficult one.  Know that you are doing the best you can each day, and that truly is enough!  The results will come in time.
It’s time to stand up for ourselves.
It’s time to stop abusing ourselves with diets.
It’s time to #breakthebinge.

If you are ready to break your binge, you don’t have to do it alone.

Julie
My awesome friend Julie!! Check out here program! http://bit.ly/1Dl1gkV

 This week’s blog post is a a guest post written by my good friend Julie Stubblefield of Fit Mom Revolution. She has been featured on Zen Barbell before and is one of the women who I am working with to put on an in person event in 2015 talking about the exact topic that she writes about here (I am excited! Its going to be wonderful!) Julie is passionate about helping women breaking the binge cycle and ending the diet mindset. You can check out here program here: