Busy is Addictive

Over the past year, I have moved from a pretty open schedule to a more demanding one due to becoming a business owner.  I love what I am doing. I love being able to learn and grow and nurture a business that means a lot to me.

I have been working at better time management – scheduling my day, prioritizing my to do list, delegating things when I can.   I am finding, however, I am having a harder time letting things go when it is time just to hang out with my husband or allow for reading time. I feel the pull of needing to do MORE with my time. It feels harder to be able sit and just be or to allow myself a nap or other down time.  Busy must feel good to my brain and it wants to be occupied and working on something rather than here in this moment.

I don’t like the feeling. That feeling of HAVING to do something or feeling like I SHOULD be doing something. To be accomplishing at every moment. Of not being able to relax and be. Of not welcoming the moment that is right in front of me. Of not being present in the time I am sharing with my husband or friends.

SO I will practice. I will practice letting go of busyness. I will practice being with that frantic feeling of “you need to be doing something!” without actioning on it. I will practice returning to the moment in front of me again and again. I will breathe and allow for what is here.

How do you all find that balance? To be productive when you need to be and then to be still or present in the downtime when its time for that?

OK to Be

It is always interesting for me to observe when I bump up against the ideas of “I am not ok” or “I shouldn’t do this”.

Some recent examples:

“People are usually younger when they get tattooed.”

“You shouldn’t lift any heavier”

“You can’t wear that when you are middle aged.” (I won’t even go into my feelings on the term middle aged!)

“Are you coloring your hair blue to seem younger?”

It has taken me a long time to figure out who I am, what I like and feel comfortable stepping into that. I want to wear what makes me happy, even if I get strange looks.  I want to have big beautiful tattoos even if others don’t like them or think I am silly.  I want to have blue in my hair because it makes me happy and I love the color.   But my first thought when I hear those things, is to get protective and defensive. I’ll think “Maybe there are rules that I need to be following? Maybe I don’t get to do these things? Maybe I am not brave enough to a little different ? Maybe they are right and I am silly/stupid?”

I try to pause and breathe.

I try to pause breathe and remember there are no rules. I mean yes, in general I want to be a good standing member of society so I won’t kill, rob, or pillage. 🙂  I will pay my taxes. I will be kind to others because I want to be and it helps make life better.  But there are no rules in being who you are.  I can be myself in all of that in any way I want to express it.  Even if others don’t like it. Even if others roll their eyes and judge. Even if people don’t think its appropriate. I love who I am and what I put out in the world.

Do you? Where you do feel you get the most feedback? Does it bother you? How do you handle it?

 

2016 Check in on my goals

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions but I do deliberately sit down and choose some focus areas for the year.  For this year and the previous one, I have mostly just selected themes that I want to learn around, spend time in or use as guiding touchstones for my life.

On my whiteboard in my office
On my whiteboard in my office

I thought since Q1 of 2016 is complete I would do a check in to see how things were going so far for me in these areas.

  1. Be passionate about life. Yeah, my guiding principle. Not sure if I have played bigger in this space or not so far this year. Worth pondering.
  2. Swole and Flexy – Very consistent here. I have done ROMWOD every day since before Christmas for the most part and I have been doing only CrossFit for my training since before the end of the year.  Getting swole and getting flexy.
  3. In service to others – An important value to me.  I do have a couple of volunteer activities that I support.  I also took on a speaker coach role for the TedXRVA event this year which was a ton of fun. However, I also want this theme to show up for me in the lives of those that I am around all the time.  For my family, for my friends, for the other members of my gym,
  4. Don’t Bitch out of Habit – Sometimes I find myself just complaining because I am used to it or maybe because I need something to do. LOL  You know those things like the weather, a long line, traffic when really none of these things are that much of a big deal.  I want to bring more attention here and listen more to when I am complaining about something  – why am I doing that? What do I need to be doing instead? Is there something to be grateful for here?
  5. Be with what is.  Oh, the big practice of life. It is and will always be a big practice for me. Sometimes I am great at it. Sometimes I completely forget about it but I do try to keep practicing.

What about you? How is 2016 shaping up for you? Are you living the life that you want to lead?

 

 

The Last Day of 2015

I LOVE LOVE LOVE New Year’s eve. I love the purposeful look back over the year that was and the anticipation of a new year. I have spent the past few days going through my calendar (where I track everything), my photos, some journals. 
 
What I learned in the review:
1) It was a kick ass year. So much experienced and learned. 

2) 2015 aligned with my themes that I set up at the beginning of the year. This year I established themes at the beginning of the year around areas/topics that stick out in my heart and mind. I used them to guide where I want to focus and spend my time.

The themes I had for 2015. Kept on my white board in my office
The themes I had for 2015. Kept on my white board in my office
How the year lined up with my themes:
Lift
In weightlifting, I took silver at master’s nationals AND then several months later bombed out at a meet. I did a powerlifting training cycle. I intermittently did some CrossFit. I also got a sweet Eleiko barbell and kilo plates!
Improvement movement and coaching skills
I learned a lot about crawling, rocking, and head nods. I learned a great deal about myself and how I deal with pain. I continued to make a  conscious effort to  read from master coaches in order to improve my own skills.
Tattoos
I got a new tattoo. I did all I could do to just keep it at one this year. LOL
I also created a wall this year in my house filled with pictures of my friends tattoos. I love it so!
Travel
I traveled: Miami, California, Colorado, Nevada, London, Vienna. I got to stay at a bucket list place: The Hotel Del Coronado. It was all I hoped it would be.
Love and be present
Yes, this was my mantra for the year. There was lots of practice for this. I felt like I grew in being able to allow love and just being to be my guiding principles in different situations and relationships.
3) One final observation about 2015: I take numerous of pictures of my cats. Hitch in particular. 🙂
This is Hitch. Can you blame me?? :)
This is Hitch. Can you blame me?? 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What would you learn or have you learned from your review of 2015?

Happy Thanksgiving! Share Your Gratitude!

I have been struggling the past few weeks to find my creative spark in writing new posts for this blog.  I knew I could count on the day of thanks to inspire me.

Gratitude for me is a daily practice. It is a life changing, perspective shifting, emotions bursting, heart hardly containing practice for me.  What is fun about today, it being a day of thanks, is reading on social media, a format which can get pretty negative and ugly at times, people sharing what they are grateful for. They share the happy time that are having with the people they love and an abundance of food.  It is fun to share in gratitude.  It grows and is contagious. 🙂

Take some time today and share what you are grateful for. Consider everything all the little things, all the big things. Think about the things that were really hard this year, what can you be grateful for in those moments?  Think about the people in your life and what they add to it – the connection, the warmth, the laughs, the support. Do you have pets? I do. I am thankful for those crazies as well. 🙂 Think about your body – what works really well with it now? how is it amazing? What all are you able to do with it? Do you have a place to live? That is awesome and something to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!!If you share with some one, sit and listen to what they are grateful for today too.

You are awake and alive today. Savor it all!

I would love to hear from you what you are grateful for!

Practice is Powerful

It is wonderful to learn new things.
It is wonderful to make connections and have insights about things that are important to you. However, insight alone cannot bring the change that you want to see in your life. You have to practice.

Practice has power.

Practice is what brings knowledge and insight from the head to the heart to our bodies. Geneen Roth often says that insight is not enough, you have to take action.  Practicing is action.

Practice Is Power

As it applies to areas where I am passionate; being kind to yourself and having a happy relationship with your body and your food, practice is needed.

You need to practice eating when you are hungry. You need to practice feeling your feelings. You need to practice offering kindness to yourself.  You need to practice being mindful.  You need to practice any new skill you want to be good at.

There is even power in the use of the word practice. It is different than “try this and get it right”. Practice has the attitude of “try it, see how it goes, how it feels, what you learned and what you would do differently next time”.

Did you stumble? That is ok, We are just practicing. 🙂  Practice is a different heart-space, a different mind set.

We will forget to practice. We will screw it up some times. It is all ok. Life gives us so many opportunities to try again.

Breathe and try again.

A million times over.

It doesn’t matter. Keep practicing.  It gets easier. It gets better. Mastery will be built.

Practice is power.

The Pull of The Voice

I still feel that pull of that voice.
That inner voice that tells me I should be thinner.

When I am at an event that I am looking forward to that voice talks to me.

“It would be better if you were thinner. Other people would like that more. They would like YOU more if you were thinner.”

LIAR. That voice is a fucking liar. Its the one that tells you that you are not good enough as you are, that happiness is over there, never where or who you are right now.

Learn to hear that voice. Then you figure out how best to deal with it. Notice it. Tell it to shut up. Or tune it out. What ever you do don’t listen to it or don’t buy what its telling you.

I Want to Be Brave in My Life

I want to be brave in my life.

I want to be brave in my life:

  • to love who I am and always know that I am worthy
  • to pursue the experiences I want to have
  • to allow love, not my ego, to be the driving force behind my actions
  • to step in to difficult conversations when they need to happen with people I love
  • to be happy rather than right
  • to contribute to the health and well being of others every day
  • to have space in my life and not allow busy-ness to be my measure of success
  • to be authentically who I am
  • to be willing try even if that means I fail
  • to be relentlessly kind
  • to get as many tattoos as I feel I need 😀
  • to always be open to learning
  • to take myself less seriously and play more
  • to be present in this moment, not caught up in stories from the past or about the future
  • to remember we are all just humans on this tiny little planet in a unfathomably large universe

Do you want to be brave in your life? How would that show up for you?

 

 

Reflections on Life While Traveling

I recently had the opportunity to go to London and Vienna. I really enjoy traveling, especially to Europe. Although I think given the chance, I would go anywhere in the world if it were safe enough of a place to visit.

Anyway, this was a delightful trip with one of my friends who is one of my world-wide travel companions. There was lots of walking, climbing up stairs of very tall cathedral spires, eating of lots of carbs and drinking of lots of coffee. IMG_7671#carbsandcaffeine
(I know hashtags in a blog post are not needed but they make me laugh so there it is. 😀 )

In the course of this trip, I visited several museums as I am apt to do when traveling. I love looking at art, objects from different eras, and items that I have read about my whole life but have never seen in real life. Recently while being in a museum and seeing things that were used by average people hundreds and even thousands of years ago, (rings, necklaces, plates, cups, utensils, etc) I get hit with a strong sense of the brevity and anonymity of human life.

Who were these people? How were their lives? What did they struggle with? What did they celebrate? Did they enjoy their life? What would they think to see their jewelry, dishes, possessions on display at a museum? How many of hundreds of thousands, millions of people existed with no trace of anything to be displayed in a museum?

For me it always comes back to this the reminder that our life spans are but a flash in cosmic time. We never know how much time we get. Enjoy and savor every minute of the life you get to experience. Pay attention and tune in to what is going on around you. Life isn’t meant to be lived on autopilot.

Awake and alive, baby!! 

IMG_7672

The Slow, Unsexy Sure-Fire Way to Success

Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.

This has been my mantra recently.
I am convinced it is what leads to success at most things. In a world where we want a quick fix, magic pill and everything NOW, it can be really challenging. It is not sexy either. It does work though. You are what you do every day. Change will happen.

Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.

I am 42 and want to compete as a weightlifter. I have a coach, good programming and I know what to work on. I show up at the gym regularly and do the work. Slowly things are changing. One kilo at a time, one inch of technique refinement practiced again and again. Change will happen.

Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.

I want to make some body composition changes. I figure out a great way to do it that does not put me back in the restrict and binge cycle. I figure out how I can eat for the rest of my life and then watch my body change. Not over night, a little at time. A pound a time. Oh man. I want it to be faster. Some times it agonizing at this pace. How successful will I be if I keep looking for the next sure-fire plan? I am doing the right things one meal at a time, one day at a time. Change will happen.

Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.

Patience and consistency.

I know I am some times mean to myself. My inner voice can be cutting, shaming, critical. I want to change that. I build awareness and I start to make different choices in how I talk to myself. I am deliberate and I practice often. Change will happen. I am kinder more often. I catch myself and make a different choice. My inner world gets kinder, better. It makes me kinder, better to the world around me.

Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.

I want to grow my business so that I can help others connect with peace, happiness and health. I find good mentors to learn from. I implement changes. I am honest and authentic and I put my message out here regularly. I learn what is working and what isn’t and adjust accordingly. I try new things when I fail. I keep taking steps. Keep moving forward. Progress is made. Change is happening. Its not over night and it maybe small. Maybe one person at a time but the community grows and more people connect with peace, happiness and health.

Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.
Patience and consistency.