It is always interesting for me to observe when I bump up against the ideas of “I am not ok” or “I shouldn’t do this”.
Some recent examples:
“People are usually younger when they get tattooed.”
“You shouldn’t lift any heavier”
“You can’t wear that when you are middle aged.” (I won’t even go into my feelings on the term middle aged!)
“Are you coloring your hair blue to seem younger?”
It has taken me a long time to figure out who I am, what I like and feel comfortable stepping into that. I want to wear what makes me happy, even if I get strange looks. I want to have big beautiful tattoos even if others don’t like them or think I am silly. I want to have blue in my hair because it makes me happy and I love the color. But my first thought when I hear those things, is to get protective and defensive. I’ll think “Maybe there are rules that I need to be following? Maybe I don’t get to do these things? Maybe I am not brave enough to a little different ? Maybe they are right and I am silly/stupid?”
I try to pause and breathe.
I try to pause breathe and remember there are no rules. I mean yes, in general I want to be a good standing member of society so I won’t kill, rob, or pillage. 🙂 I will pay my taxes. I will be kind to others because I want to be and it helps make life better. But there are no rules in being who you are. I can be myself in all of that in any way I want to express it. Even if others don’t like it. Even if others roll their eyes and judge. Even if people don’t think its appropriate. I love who I am and what I put out in the world.
Do you? Where you do feel you get the most feedback? Does it bother you? How do you handle it?